


Bury my Love (in the Moondust)

by GirlslikeGirls



Series: The sun and the moon are both so pretty you see, but the rainbow in your veins is what I'm meant to be [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Heartbreak, I love them both, I swear, M/M, My poor baby Yams, Weddings, Why do I hurt you and Kenma so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 05:40:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlslikeGirls/pseuds/GirlslikeGirls
Summary: Yamaguchi Tadashi was content to bask in the moon's glory forever. Too bad the moon found its sun and left Tadashi in the dark.





	Bury my Love (in the Moondust)

**Author's Note:**

> SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LOOOOOOONG!!!!!!! I've been awful to everyone who reads my stories and died for a year. But I'm back!!!!! This has been written for ages after I got a comment on part 1 of the series asking for Yamaguchi's side of the story. They also asked for a Kenma/Yamaguchi pity party and well...let's just say part 3 is super cute. Hope you guys like it! Comments and kudos chase the depression away!!!

_I’m building this house, on the moon._  
Like a lost astronaut.  
Looking at you, like a star.  
From a place the world forgot. 

Yamaguchi Tadashi felt lost a lot in life. People made him nervous, decisions were always hard. But there was one place where he always felt safe and warm: with his moon. Tsukishima had been the moon for as long as their friendship had gone on, from the first day he saved Tadashi from the bullies picking on him in elementary school. Tadashi idolized the moon, always trying to stay close and reveling in the fact that he was the only one who could see the true Tsukishima Kei underneath the icy veneer he had. And Tsukishima cared a lot for Tadashi too. At least, Tadashi hoped he wasn’t being forgotten. The rest of the world never looked at him (they were to enraptured by the moon’s beauty), so he hoped that the moon at least saw him.

_And there’s nothing I can do,  
Except bury my love for you. _

Tadashi was in love with Tsukishima. Plain and simple. He almost told Tsukishima as much one night when the two were in their sophomore year of college. They were laying in the grass next to their apartment building and looking up at the sky together. “Hey Tsukki?” Tadashi asked, prompting a tilt of the head from Tsukishima. “Have you ever thought about love?” Tsukishima frowned at this.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Like, have you ever thought about what it would be like to fall in love?” Tsukishima sighed.  
“Love is a frivolous emotion. It’s a waste of time.” The cold statement made Tadashi frown himself, before he stood up and mumbled a quiet “I’m going inside.” That was the day Tadashi decided it. “Unless Tsukki comes to me first, I’m never going to tell him.”

_The brightness of the sun will give me just enough._  
To bury my love, in the moon dust.  
I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice.  
To bury my love, in the moon dust. 

Tadashi held strong on his promise. He never told Tsukishima anything about loving him, never gave any indication that he liked him as anything more than a best friend. And a year later, the love got easier to bury. The heartbreak, however, grew exponentially.  
“Yamaguchi.” At the strange tone of Tsukishima’s voice Tadashi looked up. He was met with a rare sight that he could only describe as beautiful: Tsukishima’s face was bright red with a blush but he was smiling happily, his eyes shining gold.  
“What is it?” Tadashi was genuinely curious, as not many things could make the normally sullen blond so happy. He saw Tsukishima blush even deeper.  
“Remember that night when we talked about love?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, I was wrong about love being frivolous.” Tadashi was floored. In all of their years of friendship, Tsukishima has never admitted so blatantly that he was wrong. Usually, he just beat around the bush until Tadashi said that he didn’t care or that he was forgiven. So, in this situation, Tadashi didn’t really know how to respond. Because of that, he stuttered like an idiot while trying to get his bearings.  
“Uhh…Ahh…W-what b-brought this on?”  
“Kuroo Tetsurou. Remember him from high school? He asked me out.” Tsukishima’s eyes shined more with each word, as Tadashi’s dimmed. Of course he remembered Kuroo. He was the smiley, sunshiny man who helped Tsukishima rediscover his love for volleyball. The moon and the sun, funny how things work out. Tadashi was stupid to think he could compete. “Uhh, Tadashi? Are you okay?” Tadashi shook himself out of his thoughts after he realized that he must have been staring. He forced a bright smile as he buried the heartache.  
“I’m fine, and I’m really happy for you Tsukki.”

_Nothing can breathe in the space._  
Colder than the darkest sea.  
I have dreams about the days,  
Driving through your sunset breeze. 

Tadashi choked on his tears as he sat on his bed, having awoken from a dream shaking and drenched in sweat. It had started out nice, a memory of the road trip he and Tsukishima had taken when they graduated high school. They had only told their parents, packed enough clothes and money for a month, and just drove. Forgetting about responsibilities, relationships, and roles to play. They were just them, enjoying being friends. One of the trip’s days brought them to the beach, and that was where the dream focused.  
“You make life so simple Tadashi,” Tsukishima had been saying. “I don’t have to try hard to talk to you.”  
“I’m glad,” Tadashi had giggled. “You shouldn’t have to force yourself to be friendly.” They were sitting on towels looking out at the clear, clean water.  
But, that was where the good part ended.

Suddenly, Kuroo appeared. And it was like Tadashi had never even been there. Tsukishima wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and the two began to kiss as the sky darkened and the waves became harsher. Tadashi watched in horror as the spectacle continued until a large wave crashed over him and startled him awake. He pushed himself out of bed and walked out of his bedroom and toward the bathroom, pausing to look at the other bedroom across the hall. Tsukishima’s room. Which he wasn’t in because he was with Kuroo on vacation. Tadashi stepped into the shower and turned on the cold water as high as it could go. He hoped it would drown out the sound of his cries.

_But the first thing that I will do,  
Is bury my love for you. _

When Tsukishima came home from vacation, he found Tadashi curled up under a bunch of blankets on the couch, a box of tissues and container of cold medicine on the counter in front of him. “Tadashi, I’m home.” A messy haired head popped out of the bundle on the couch.  
“Tsukki,” Tadashi coughed harshly before continuing. “How was your vacation?”  
“It was good. What happened?” Tsukishima’s face held more concern than Tadashi remembered seeing for a long time.  
“Nothing. I just caught a cold.”  
“You should go to bed, I’ll make you soup.”  
“Okay, Tsukki.” Tadashi wobbled a bit when he stood, prompting Tsukishima to help him to bed. Afterwards when Tsukishima was leaving the room, he heard Tadashi speak in a small voice. “I’m glad you had fun on vacation, you deserve it.”

_The brightness of the sun will give me just enough_  
To bury my love, in the moon dust.  
I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice  
To bury my love, in the moon dust. 

“Tadashi, I think I’m gonna propose.” At this, Tadashi spits out the orange juice he was drinking on their weekly breakfast get together.  
“Really?!” Suddenly, Tsukishima looks uncharacteristically shy.  
“Well…yeah. I mean, Tetsurou and I have been dating for two years now. We live together and now just seems like the right time. Do you think I’m going too fast?”  
“N-no Tsukki I don’t think that!” Tadashi waved his hands wildly, trying to backtrack. “I think it’s great.” He finally settled on with a bright fake smile.  
“Oh, good. Cuz I need your help picking out the ring.” Tadashi just nodded, his now plastic façade firmly back in place.

That night Tadashi found himself alone in his apartment. Tsukishima had just gotten off the phone with him after stating that Kuroo had said yes and that he wanted Tadashi and Kenma to be their best men. Tadashi had agreed (He never said no to Tsukki.) and that had been it. Now he was thinking aloud. “Why did I ever think that he’d pick me? Ever? I’m so stupid.” He looked at his phone, feeling a longing to pick it up, knowing that if Tadashi said he was upset Tsukishima would talk to him comfortingly until he felt better. But in the end he backed off. “My moon deserves its sun.”

_I’m a cast away and men reap what they sow_  
And I say what I know to be true  
Yeah I’m living far away on the face of the moon  
I’ve buried my love to give the world to you 

Through tux fittings and venue trips and cake tastings, Tadashi helped as much as he could. This was his punishment for catching feelings for his best friend. Tsukishima looked the happiest Tadashi had ever seen him, giggling and blushing at all of Kuroo’s dumb jokes while still coming off as cool. Tadashi could never bring emotions like that out of him. He could be on the face of the moon (the best friend), but he would never be close enough to hold the core (his heart). And he’s willing to give up that chance if it means that Tsukishima gets to blush and smile and hold the entire world. If Tsukishima can shine, then Tadashi’s willing to dim until he disappears.

_The brightness of the sun will give me just enough_  
To bury my love, in the moon dust.  
I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice  
To bury my love, in the moon dust. 

On the day of the wedding, Tadashi plays the part of the best man perfectly. He reassures his best friend, straightens his tie, and dutifully walks down the aisle with Kuroo’s best friend Kenma. He sheds a tear when the two say their vows (though not for the reason everyone thinks) and he claps at the end. When Tsukishima said I do, his heart cracked with longing. But there’s nothing he can do. Tsukishima was never and will never be his.

At the reception he sits next to Kenma, a drink in his hands while the two newlyweds share their first dance. Tadashi sniffles pitifully and Kenma picks up on it and asks what’s wrong. “It feels like my heart’s breaking all over again, but permanently this time.” Kenma sighs tipping his head forward to cover his face with his long hair while Tadashi turned to look at him.  
“I know exactly how you feel.” Tadashi’s eyes widened. “I guess the sun burns just as hot as the moon freezes cold.”

_I’ve buried my love in the moon dust_


End file.
